Custody is often one of the most heavily litigated issues in divorce and paternity actions in Oklahoma, and it is easy to understand why. Custody is the legal term to describe who makes decisions for the minor children, such as where they will go to school, major medical decisions, and what their religious upbringing will be. Where the child lives and how much time each parent spends with the child is handled separately, through visitation. Note that major decisions are different from normal and routine decisions, such as decisions on clothing, food, and everyday household matters. Normally, there are two types of custody: joint custody and sole custody, and each serves a different purpose:
Joint Custody in Oklahoma
Joint custody usually means that parents share decision-making for the minor child. In Oklahoma, if parties have joint custody, they are required to provide a joint custody plan, which specifies to the court how custody and visitation will work. Joint custody plans usually specify what qualifies for major decisions, what happens if parties disagree, holiday schedules, and other rules the parties will follow. It is important to get your joint custody plan right since it will control how decisions are made with your children.
Sole Custody
Sole custody usually means that one party has all decision-making authority, and they do not need the other parent’s permission before they make a major decision. Sole custody orders do not need a plan, and they are very difficult to modify once a party is awarded sole custody.
What Happens if We Disagree?
If you and your co-parent disagree on a major decision, what happens next depends on a few factors. For sole custody, disagreements rarely matter, as the sole custodian is the one who controls major decisions for the minor child. The noncustodial parent unfortunately has very little recourse. If there is joint custody, however, the terms of the joint custody plan usually control. A joint custody plan may require the parties to appoint a parenting coordinator, attend mediation, or raise the issue before the court. Some joint custody plans offer a parent what is called “final say,” which means that, after considering the issue and hearing the other parent’s input, the parent awarded final say may make the decision.
Final Say: The Joint Custody Trojan Horse
Final say is often very appealing to parents, because it gives them the ability to make major decisions over the objection of their co-parent. Many attorneys view final say as a Trojan horse, because in practice, it is the same outcome as sole custody. Some parties try to sneak it deep into a joint custody plan so their co-parents don’t suspect it until it is too late. That is why a keen attorney will keep an eye out for final say in a joint custody plan and advise you accordingly.
Custody is often the most important part of litigation in family law, and it is important to get it right. If you are in a custody dispute and want to know more about your options, call or send Croslin Law a message to see how we can help.